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Fail. Sigh.

November 1, 2010
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Ok, sooooooooo apparently I don’t know how to make biscuits. Unless of course, biscuits are SUPPOSED to be as flat as pancakes and as dense as rocks. Who knew these little beasts were such tricksters?

My crappy biscuits

So I am going to need your best biscuit making tips, please. And someone needs to let me know what I did wrong. And then tell me to chin up (I am going to start saying that, pronto). Check out Completely Delicious for the recipe what these little beauties are SUPPOSED to look like – they are PERFECT!!! I am super envious of her biscuits. They are as fluffy as a cloud.

Here is the thing – they still actually taste really good (butternut squash and rosemary, how could you go wrong?)… they have SUCH potential. Like me, in grade 7 volleyball. Man could I do a mean underhand serve. The picture of my biscuits pretty much resembles my current volleyball career.

Alllllllll I can say is that I am SOOOO happy I didn’t sign up to bring biscuits to the Christmas brunch I am going to in a few weeks. Fruit platter it is! Can’t go wrong with cantaloupe!

To make myself feel better I went to Home Sense today and bought CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS! Biscuits promptly forgotten. Somebody in this house won’t let me put up the tree until after his birthday (Nov 23) which actually is rather reasonable I suppose…but that doesn’t exclude little itty bitty decorations. He probably won’t even notice. Who needs biscuits anyway? (Ok, so I do. And obviously I’ll be trying these over and over again until they are freaking mastered). That is all. Goodnight!

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21 Comments leave one →
  1. christinamarie82 permalink
    November 1, 2010 7:55 pm

    What’s worked for me is as little mixing as possible after the milk/water has been added. That makes them super-flaky! Also, be sure you’ve added the exact amount of (fresh!) baking soda required so that they rise nicely. 🙂 Hope that helps! They sound like they have great potential.

    • November 1, 2010 9:14 pm

      Great potential indeed! Your comment makes me want to go out and buy all new fresh baking soda! These biscuits don’t actually call for baking soda – I wonder if that was a typo in the recipe?

  2. November 1, 2010 9:02 pm

    Glad to hear I’m not the only one who experiences failure in the kitchen from time to time! 🙂

  3. November 1, 2010 9:06 pm

    I agree, don’t overmix and another important piece is not to handle it too much.
    I like this comment from cooks.com http://www.cooks.com/rec/story/75/
    “The secret of baking good biscuit is to have the dough as soft as one can handle it, but not to handle it a bit more than is necessary after the wetting has been added to the flour, and to bake it in a quick oven.”
    – Butter

    • November 1, 2010 9:13 pm

      I’m certain that the overhandling is where I went wrong!

  4. November 1, 2010 9:23 pm

    And remember, don’t be too hard on yourself – we ALL have kitchen failures 🙂 My Kings Cake from back in February was a COMPLETE DISASTER and great example where I failed SEVERAL times in one day! Ended up with a meltdown. At least I got a darn story out of it. Lol. And you are funny – shopping sometimes helps ha-ha.
    – Butter

  5. November 2, 2010 11:17 am

    I don’t have any great hints for you, but I do know that biscuits are finicky. Hope they work out better next time!

  6. November 2, 2010 11:34 am

    Ugh, baking is tough for me. Although I did get some biscuits to turn out once, but they were very plain and simple, no fancy ingredients added 🙂
    They were from King Arthur: http://anutritionisteats.com/biscuits/

  7. November 2, 2010 12:34 pm

    No worries! I have had many a kitchen fail and it always happens with things that I’m super excited about. I haven’t made biscuits, but I’d imagine it’s like scones, where you simply want to lightly combine and not overmix…a skill that I find very difficult to summon sometimes!

  8. littlemrsmosher permalink
    November 2, 2010 2:17 pm

    well this only gives you an excuse to make them again! 😉 i would say for for a more basic biscuit recipe tho the next time ie plain or cheese + herb etc, then once you see that success go for the adding in squash..im still looking at her recipe trying to figure out how the heck she managed to have the squash in there and getting the puff + shape she did. and in my oppionion if you’re using butter you don’t need to bother with an egg wash – try canadian living or allrecipes for another one, i’m sure you will have better luck the 2nd time around since we alll know you are a great baker 🙂

  9. November 2, 2010 2:27 pm

    Oh no!!! I am so sorry these didn’t turn out for you! I’m looking over everything in the recipe I posted and it all looks correct. It is supposed to be baking powder and not baking soda. I’m going to double check when I get home to my recipe cards, though, just in case I made a mistake.

    Assuming all of the ingredients are correct, I would guess that you overmixed the dough. As soon as it comes together after adding the liquid, dump it out on a floured surface and work it into a disk with your hands (the rest of the little dry bits will get worked in during this time), then flatten to about 2 inches thick and cut. The dough may not look pretty, but all of those flaky bits will turn into flaky biscuits!

    I hate it when I try recipes that look great and I fail miserably. I feel terrible. But don’t give up on biscuits!

    • November 2, 2010 5:36 pm

      Honestly, I am sure that your recipe is perfect – it’s definitely me! I had no idea that biscuits were so tricky, and you know what, I’m okay that they didn’t turn out! Now I know. It was kind of funny to take them out of the oven and think, “Hmmm. Hers looked a LOT better!” I will absolutely be trying again, and will take the “barely touch the dough” approach 🙂 THanks for the tips!!! You rock!

      • November 3, 2010 10:30 am

        Glad to hear you’re not giving up! Hope they turn out better next time! 🙂

  10. November 2, 2010 5:43 pm

    The recipe looks delicious, but doughs can be tricky (believe me, I’ve had several mishaps with dough.) Would love to see you try out the recipe again.

  11. November 2, 2010 6:47 pm

    All I can say is “Chin Up!”. I don’t have any tips because I have never made biscuits. I am just trying to break a record here in the South to be the girl who went the longest without baking biscuits and eating grits!

    • November 3, 2010 12:42 pm

      LOL!!! You’re the only one who said it, so thanks very much!

  12. November 3, 2010 12:51 pm

    Hi Kristen,

    Thank you for dropping by my blog and for your kind words. You have a lovely blog here. Would it be ok if I add you to my Edmonton bloggers list on my blogroll?

    I always fail at baking. I always do “something” wrong, but I’m learning, and that’s all that counts :-D. Yup, I keep telling myself that…teehee. Looks don’t matter, as long as they taste good. And if they don’t, at least you tried :-D. Nothing wrong with failure as long as you’re willing to improve.

    • November 3, 2010 12:53 pm

      Sorry, just realized I spelled your name wrong, Kristin. My appologies.

  13. Kym Palichuk permalink
    November 4, 2010 9:53 pm

    I have to say Kristin that I actually found my secret when it comes to making biscuits. Instead of flattening the whole thing out into a disc, I actually take it right out of the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. I don’t work it anymore once it is out of the bowl. Instead, with lightly floured hands as well (and yes, there are definitely times when I need to dip my hands back into my flour bowl again), I make the dough into a log. Then with a sharp knife, I actually cut my log into the biscuits. That way, I am not handling the dough anymore and I find it way easier to cut the dough with a knife then to make the disc out of the dough and then cut the circles with something round that I have in my kitchen.
    Just though I would share my little insight with you.
    I know you will figure this biscuit thing out – you always come out on top. And Kevin will love them too.

  14. jenna permalink
    November 5, 2010 8:49 am

    i like cheese biscuits.

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