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coming to terms with surprise

April 7, 2011
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This is a step away from the regular old food blog and a bit of baby for you. I, of course the blogger that I am, am documenting this pregnancy on another blog, and this is a post I wrote on Wednesday when we tried to find out baby’s gender (key word: tried). I am trying to stay away from too much of baby on this blog, but wanted to give you a little insight into the latest news. If you’re interested in always knowing the latest on baby, feel free to check out: My Little Love.

I also wanted to say thank you for all the kind thoughts and words of encouragement that so many of you have left me. I appreciate every single one, and take your words to heart. I’m also happy to report that with the return of the sun and beautiful spring weather we are experiencing, my energy seems to be coming back as well, and I’m feeling so much more like myself. Such a relief!

Dear little Monkey,

I am not a HUGE fan of anticipation. I like surprises, but I only want to wait for a surprise, oh say, a maximum of one week. The anticipation just kills me. So yesterday when we went in for our ultrasound to see you, I had had quite enough of the wondering. I was done with the big surprise and was 100% convinced that we would leave knowing whether or not to call you “he” or “she” for the next 4.5 months (the rest of our lives actually).

Ummmm. Thanks a lot. I love you little baby boo, but seriously? You had your very cute little back turned to us, and on top of that, you had your hands over your little face the entire time! So not only could the tech not tell us if we should call you Sally or Joe, she wasn’t able to get us a very good picture of you at all. We came home with a blurry side profile face pic and a very cute picture of your little feet. You have 5 toes on each foot. Check! I actually watched you kick me (but didn’t feel anything….your kicks are wimpy). YOU ARE A MONKEY! A sweet sweet monkey.

A lot of people have different views on this whole “finding out” issue. I get it. I had previously maintained that I would not find out what we were having. I imagined this whole dramatic scene where the doctor lifted our newborn baby in the air (think Lion King), announcing “It’s a _____!!!!” to a room of cheering professionals (there will not be ANY extra, unnecessary people in that room thank you very much. Kevin will be lucky if I let him in there). (Ok, I’m not that dramatic). Yeah. That all changed the moment I found out we were having you. I have to know. I will absolutely die if I don’t know. I’m surprised I haven’t died already.

I get that it will be so exciting to wonder and wonder and WONDER about you for the next few months, and that moment when you are born will be so wonderful. Our friend KA described it as “the most memorable moment of my life” – and I know it will be the same way for us. You are a surprise worth waiting for. Even though surprises are completely exhausting.

So I suppose I will spend the next 4.5 months buying gender neutral onesies, light brown, green and yellow nursery decor and hold off on all the extremely cute summer dresses that I would be all over (buying them in size “1 year” of course). I figure we’ll save a little bit of money, since you probably would have been born with a wardrobe for an entire year had we known.

So little love, that’s that for now. You decided for us, and I just have to live with it. And hopefully learn to love the idea. But you can’t be mad if you’re born a boy and I couldn’t resist the pink frilly curtains or if you’re a girl and your nursery is decorated with lions and tigers and bears. I actually have a vision of the baby’s room and it’s pretty gender neutral… I’ll write all about it here soon. And I would never EVER give you frilly curtains. Ugh. Frills, ribbons and lace? No thank you. Well, maybe a little bit of lace. In moderation. Provided you’re a girl.

Come to think of it, Auntie Jenna and I shared a room for many many years, and we lived in white canopy beds with pink bedding and lots of lace and swooshy material. I hated it at the time, but it’s pretty cute thinking back. Those canopy beds were like princess beds. Adorable.

Anyway, I’m back to calling you “baby, she, he, it” and am going to decide to be excited with the surprise. Here’s to hoping.

You little stinker.

By the way, I’ve now changed my mind – you are obviously a girl. With an attitude like that, you are definitely a girl, and you are definitely mine. And I love you.

18 Weeks

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 7, 2011 2:30 pm

    Loved it. 🙂 What a good mommy!

  2. April 7, 2011 7:08 pm

    🙂 Beautiful! I am sure you and your little monkey will have LOTS of fun together! 🙂

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